NeuroAtypique

It’s the 25th anniversary of 9/11. I went down to the break room where I was working because someone told us a plane had hit the world trade center. Watching the smoke rolling off the first building I thought “what idiot flies a plane into a sky scraper?” And right after that the second plane hit. We saw it live when it happened. I never really understood the term “my blood ran cold”. Twenty five years later and I still remember that feeling like it was branded into my brain. There have been many atrocities in history and now, this is just the one I witnessed.

I think I want to stop talking for a little bit, maybe a few days. Is this a bad idea? I feel like my life style can support a few days. Has anyone else tried this?

I hope it’s going to be a good day.

My poor wife has to deal with my adhd all the time, which includes cooking. I can’t stand cooking, and have always looked for ways to avoid it. I’ve seen lots of people on here express the same sentiment, and I’m curious if anybody has any advice? What works for you to trick your brain into cooking?

IDK, but probably thanks to a lot of trauma (TL;DR: ableist bullying), I try my best to extend projects or just leave them unfinished. Sometimes I just start new ones for no other reason that I don’t have to finish the previous ones on time.

Having to recalculate the length of time to get from desk to bathroom so I can procrastine using the washroom without pissing myself.

Back to work today. Starting to be noticeably darker in the morning which will mean it’s going to start cooling down hopefully. We live along a meteorlogical border. So the weather can get weird and intense.

It’s bread day! Making a couple of loaves and some pizza dough. Betty White (sourdough starter) tried to escape from her jar, but I caught her in just time!

Best time of my life was right before the eclipses and I could see outside without sunglasses or cloudy weather.

I’ve always made up a person to fit in. Masking has taken a toll and I hate the person I’ve pretended to be. That person is boring, polished, and an over achiever. Since.I was punished severely on a daily basis at 4 years old and afterwards, my true self never was known to me. Only my self who could survive.

Lot of pressure to make this post today. Hope I can do it.

I have to spend the day with a group of people I don’t know. Main consultation is they won’t interact with me much.

Is anyone else attracted to internet forums merely because you can be sure at least one person is going to get your reference, no matter how obscure?

Maybe today I will get to work on what I am supposed to work on.

Hiya!

Lot of stuff to do at work and it’s going to almost 100F/37.8C all week. But I got my truck out of the body shop! Generally I am against the big modern trucks. But I have very tinted windows on mine. And while most guys just fill the backseat up with junk, I keep it clean and use it as my mobile office. It’s like I’m driving around with my own personal couch and no one can see me even when I’m parked on the street.

Just enjoying the morning and lying about enjoying the morning.

I cannot function without stress. I don’t work better under stress, I can ONLY work if I’m stressed. So all my life I’m rushing and hurrying artificially even if there is no objective reason to do that. This model was working great for me all my life until now when I’m in my twenties and my body is collapsing with GERD, proctological issues, bruxism, headaches, tinnitus, fibromyalgia… They say, “Oh, you just have to do things based on novelty and interes” but bitch you cannot make EVERYTHING interesting and new. When I start to give a fuck about everything and relax I end up doing no shit. And honestly I don’t know what to do. The meds they were giving me just cause the same stress artificially elevating my noradrenaline and the evening crush is even worse compared to days when I’m stressing myself on my own means. I feel myself in a “stress yourself out and die or don’t do anything and die as well” situation… Psychiatrist and meds, psychologist, supplements, weekly meetings in ADHD support group, physical activity, good sleep, good nutrition, all these ergonomical lifehacks like “pomodoro”, “make the task easy”, “just divide the task into subtasks”, “reward yourself”, “body double”, “listen to podcasts while cleaning” etc… All this shit is not working. There is no brand new method left that I haven‘t tried and I’m deeply frustrated. I can only stress myself out until my body completely desintegrates. Just venting

Well we’re going to do things today. I just don’t know what things.

What I mean is people on the spectrum may face the treatment or discrimination equivalent to “Don’t excuse me for your autism!” when he or she’s having a meltdown dismissing it as “bad behavior” when it’s not. It becomes difficult from childhood if schools aren’t catered on accommodating this demographic, they’re considered normal physically but their outlook on life is different from their neurotypical counterparts.

Hi, since I’ve started using Lemmy, I’ve been running into the same people and having something approaching a relationship with them–even if it’s mostly imaginary.

[Tag: Loose fit.]

My stomach is evil.

I cannot describe the visceral level of aversion I have to mainstream shit. It doesn’t matter if the show is the best thing on earth, if the general public knows about it (And I don’t mean the internet I mean the general public) then I refuse to watch or partake in it. I have no idea why and it genuinely kills me to be like this and I have no idea why.

How do you all cope with the rejection that you go through in the workplace? I’ve largely only ever been socially successful among groups where I share an interest, and even then, I still struggle socially quite a bit and tend to be somewhat disliked in any sort of group setting. Among the general public (so classes, and now work for many years) I’ve never really been able to make friends, and people range from being neutral to me but not liking me, to disliking me, to hating me in a way that feels like it should really only be reserved for people who actually brought you significant harm, to trying to be ‘friendly’ and then making fun of me when I’m still in earshot, and such. But I still have to work, which means that I have to just go to work and deal with hearing my coworkers talk about me negatively when I’m within earshot, noticing the difference in the demeanor when they interact with anyone else versus interact with me, notice when they actively try to do things to make my job harder (thankfully this is somewhat rare but it happens unfortunately).

I woke up with a sore neck and had to put some Icy Hot (ointment for sore muscles) on. I accidentally touched my ear while doing so and now it is tingling.