Why did Iran close the Strait to begin with? Well, because Trump declared war against Iran just over a month ago, assassinating that country’s supreme leader, Ali Khamenei, for an opening salvo. Why did Trump start bombing Iran without provocation? Well, because according to the New York Times, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu told Trump that winning a war against Iran would be a cakewalk. Why did Trump believe Netanyahu’s pitch when even Secretary of State and human footstool Marco Rubio — Marco Rubio! — called the plan “bulls—t”? Because Donald Trump is the stupidest asshole to ever live, a fact that Iran has now exploited to cow America just as swiftly as Trump thought he might cow them.