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Not The Onion

!nottheonion@lemmy.world

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Tesla Robotaxi Stops Mid-Intersection After Running a Red Light… The Influencer Onboard Calls It “Impressive”

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To quote a random commenter:

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Elon Musk Promises Grok in Tesla Vehicles By Next Week… as the New Grok 4 Blames “Anti-White Hate” on “Jews”

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Not even a single full day into operation, and the new Grok 4 is hurling racist conspiracy theories at users.

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Tesla Will Now Let You Finance Your EV Repairs… With Interest Rates as High as 36% APR

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With Tesla, you can turn a $2,442 windshield installation into a $3,174 windshield installation through the power of interest.

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Robotaxi Drives Double the Speed Limit, Hits Speed Bumps at Full Speed… Tesla Influencers Describe It as “Excellent.”

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So, the Tesla Robotaxi rollout is going great and they are following all applicable local laws to autonomously drive safely. /s

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Tesla Robotaxi Drops Off Passengers in Middle of Intersection… Handpicked Riders Say the “Performance Was Great”

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We’re getting the first videos of “select guests” getting access to Tesla’s Robotaxi service in Austin, and the level of polish leaves something to be desired.

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Tesla Owners are Installing DIY Rip Cords to Avoid Being Trapped in Their Vehicles in Case of Fire

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Tesla owners are modifying their cars to be escapable if the car catches fire, because the doors stop working like normal and you need to rely on well-hidden mechanical overrides.

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